Cunnilingus, Campylobacteriosis, and Catherine
by LasVegasSarah
Summary: Last part in my One Shot Series, from Wendy's POV. A bit tongue in cheek.


**Hey!**

**Sorry this has taken so long guys! Anyway, thank you for all your support, this is the last part in my little series of one shots. It's from Wendy's POV, a little tongue-in-cheek, and quite short, I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or CSI etc, just having fun!**

I wish I'd brought some of that teriyaki home with me. I don't want to eat it, I want to test it for pathogenic organisms. The last day and a half has been hell for me. My meal with Catherine was wonderful, but I think I may have contracted campylobacteriosis from the chicken. I'm dreading work tonight; the first hour or so after the meal was great, until my stomach turned. It made an unmistakeable noise; one that notified me that my current position (spread eagled, with Catherine between my thighs) was about to get a little hairy... Pardon the pun.

Human? Yes. Embarrassing? Definitely.

How fitting for the socially awkward geek to develop diarrhoea during cunnilingus.

Today will be the first day I've set eyes on Catherine since she shouted her goodbyes through the bathroom door. I wasn't even able to get up from the toilet seat to see her to the door.

I'm making a conscious effort to stay optimistic about a potential relationship, I mean, Catherine's seen worse than diarrhoea in her time.

Looking at myself in the mirror I consider which particular bottle on my bathroom shelf held the correct level of coverage for my face today. I don't usually wear much, but if I'm going to convince Catherine that I am attractive, the expensive 'flawless cover' should do it. If I want to impress her, I'll have to put some effort into the makeup too; I can't just slap it on like I usually do, Catherine appreciates the finer things. I just wish I knew what I was doing.

I struggle with eye shadow for a while before giving up and going for the eyeliner I usually wear.

I spend ten minutes looking in my wardrobe for the top I want to wear. I pull a lovely 'Commanding Officer' red jumper (which I bought for that reason alone) and grimace at the red it brings out in my eyes. I sigh as I look at my watch and realise that I need to leave if I'm to be on time. I pick up my diarrhoea tablets and lock up.

XXX

'Hey!' Greg grinned when I entered the break room. I knew this conversation would come. 'So, anymore hot dates?'

'I've been off ill Greg.' I answer with a groan.

'Looking as gorgeous as ever though!' Greg winked; I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. If there was one thing Greg was good at, it was making you smile. I couldn't stay mad at him for any length of time. 'So what was up?'

'You do _not _want to know.' I assured Greg with a deep breath.

'Ah, say no more,' he laughed, 'if you need me to watch your evidence at any time, let me know.' With that, he was gone.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and picked up my things to make my way to my lab, but was interrupted by Sara's face at the door. A gap-toothed grin adorned her lips and she nodded a greeting.

'Catherine wants to see you.' She smiled knowingly. I smile to myself too; hopefully this is a chance to pick up where we left off. A little sexy-time in her office would do me the world of good.

I approach her office and notice the door is shut, so far so good. I rap lightly and slide in quietly.

'Wendy,' she grins at me, removing her glasses from their oh-so-sexy place on the ridge of her nose, 'How are you feeling?'

I sit down opposite and nod my head from side to side in a 'so-so' movement.

'I've been better, but I'm doing fine now, thank you.'

'Good.' Catherine stammers; she seems nervous. To be fair, I'd be nervous too; the last time we had sex, it ended less than pleasantly. 'I thought you should know, I brought some of that teriyaki to the lab and had Hodges process it; turns out it was the chicken that caused you an upset.'

'I figured as much.' I roll my eyes as my stomach turns at the thought of the dish again.

'There was something else,' The older woman began as she approached my position, perching on the front of her desk, 'I don't think it's a good idea that we see each other any more.'

OOFT!

I could've placed bets.

'Oh, OK.' I smile bitterly.

'It's not you,' Catherine begins before I cut her off.

'Really? The it's not you it's me speech? Wow!' I snap, glaring in to freezing eyes. I've never seen them so cold. I know I've made a mistake.

'We've been on one date!' she yells, 'You expected a relationship after that disaster?'

OOFT.

That one hurt.

'Forget it!' I exclaim as I make my way to the door. Opening the door a little I stop and turn back to face her, 'I'm better off with Hodges anyway! At least he's hung up on me and not Sara Sidle!' I storm out of her office slamming the door behind me, the glass corridors shake a little and I'm watched as I enter the toilets.

XXX

'_I'm better off with Hodges anyway! At least he's hung up on me and not Sara Sidle!' _

_David's ears perk and he quickly pops his head around the door, just in time to see whirlwind Wendy slam the bathroom door. Grinning to himself for a moment he straightens up to try and work out where she had originally come from. If he knew who he was in competition with, he'd have a better shot at winning; or so he thought. Catherine opened her door as he stalked up the corridor._

'_What do you want Hodges?' She glared._

'_I was just wondering if you'd seen Wendy?' he asked._

'_You must be the only person here who didn't hear us argue then.' Catherine growled and marched away down the corridor until she was out of sight. _

_David smiled a moment, and then it sunk in. _

_The only way he was going to win Wendy's affections would cost a lot of money, psychiatric assessments and the loss of an important body part._

**So let me know what you thought! I promise I will return to 'The Trip' soon, but I have another short story in the pipeline, so keep your eyes peeled!**

**x**


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